Someone else had the same problem and helps, the way I help other people with their problems.

You seem to be saying that OSS communities don't help, which is obviously not true. I'm a member of many OSS communities where users help each other, and that's a core part of why I prefer OSS projects.

This doesn't happen when you ban most people.

> you ban most people.

I do not ban most people as so much that I ban people that did not read and act according to the rules of the space. Which does turn out to be "most people" when you look at an unfiltered set of all humanity, because the ideology of the space is rather far away from that baseline. That is on purpose though and clearly explained many times in the documentation.

The "Why not Valetudo?" page is a good start. The "FAQ" also houses some info. Code of Conduct, obviously and the Contributing.md too.

The information is out there and I did try my best to make it comprehensible and coherent. Most people that get banned usually get banned because they did not read the information first but instead showed up with defaults.

Your reasons are your own, but that doesn't change my point above. For me, an OSS project without a strong community looks about as bad as the original manufacturer software, with all the phoning home and other disadvantages that entails.

Oh, yes, absolutely.

I am not in any way challenging that. That is the correct Take-away. Genuinely.

As said, the culture is different. I do not intend to convince you that my project would be better than what the vendor can offer. In fact, you have correctly pointed out that in your situation, the vendor might actually offer the _better_ experience with actual paid support.

> Would it help you to be able to contact me when I then say "actually, I do not care"? And then what?

Well, yes, because it's not just you being contacted. In this hypothetical world, it's also all the other people that you have banned. And if any of them know the answer, they can answer and help the person, you can announce you do not care and be ignored, and then everybody goes on and the world is a strictly better place for it.