I don’t think other people are the problem here. Harshly judging others and only wanting to socialise with people that fit a strict narrow criteria is the problem. And it sounds like you have good reason to do that due to past bad experience. I’ve been in a very similar situation and used it to justify keeping a minimal social life. But discarding a rich social life due to some bad experience is the wrong solution. It’s like getting a car accident and deciding you should never travel by car again.
Human experience is broader than you can imagine. Through reading, I regularly encounter new ideas and concepts that I never could have derived from my interactions with others. Through meditation and contemplation I have experienced strange and fascinating modes of consciousness that are available to anyone willing to sit still for a while. Casual travel has led me to an endless number of beautiful empty places, places whose very lack of humans made me feel completely free. Making physical things as a hobby has made me deeply satisfied in a way I never have felt when dealing with people.
None of this has required much in the way of socializing, in fact excessive socializing would actively interfere with these activities.
I reject your implication that a highly social life is better than a rich, mostly solitary life. It’s different, but not better.
None of these are bad things.They're all great. But rejecting socialising with other humans due to a negative experience with some is the opposite of the enlightenment that can be found through meditation. If you only read about things rather than experience them you can't really know them. If you only travel alone you miss out on the joy of travelling and discovering with others. You can do both.
You seem to misunderstand. I don’t reject socializing because of a few negative experiences, I just don’t get any significant positive feelings anymore from the majority of my social interactions, after many attempts, and especially when compared with interactions from long ago. It isn’t just other people, I have changed too. Even interactions that “go well” just don’t provide anything of value. What’s more, I don’t miss it. I much prefer what I have now.
I don’t travel alone, I travel with my partner who is a great companion.
Yes, and IMHO this kind of conversation is superior to the average IRL conversation. It is asynchronous (allowing you to return to it as you like), it places few demands on your time, and when it’s over then it’s over. You can enter just the interesting part of the conversation and then exit just as quickly. No need to drag it out or pad the ends with filler. No need to explain your departure.
IRL conversation is an art, and few people are even halfway decent at it. Maybe that’s the true source of my complaint. To make an IRL conversation entertaining you need expressiveness, creativity, as well as a good variety of topics and tolerance for differences of opinion. Not many people can check all these boxes.
For me, how entertaining or interesting a conversation is, depends a lot of the personality of my peer. Open minded people who are not being stubborn, who try to see things from different perspectives are good candidates, as I learn from them and provide a basis for further thinking. Still I prefer to talk IRL, as there's so much extra info in intonation and physical expression. Even calling with camera on makes a big difference. I find it interesting and even puzzling to know there are (apparently) smart people out there who don't find that having much added value.
